ALL THAT YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT VANESSA

2012-01-30T19:25:00.004+08:00

It's turning february even though I am still Receiving gifts and birthday card from friends in church. Remember I was jus sitting around and all of sudden someone put hand cover my eyes and when hands are removed I was told to open my eyes. And grace passed me a card with full of birthday wishes. Later on Roy came to me and gave me a gift. Many thanks for remembering. All groups. Tongue got stuck. That's all about my 21st for now and it's Chinese new year season home visitation seeing people that I don't meet often feels good. Just had a meet up with Sing Hui at Vivo as I was on my way to find Sing Hui I bump on to Firdaus it's a nice bump we had a lot of catching up fun!

2012-01-21T14:06:00.004+08:00

One whole stretch of celebration since the actual day as mention in the previous post had a surprise party with LP98 group after that had an official celebration on 1January 2012 with family all my aunties, uncles and cousins came over for the celebration including Fong Fong jie jie which was a surprise as she was expecting and baby will deliver anytime had a great celebration. But she still come and baby Merkayler was born on Two weeks after the official celebration with family..welcome into this world biao yi love you!

Just last week went to meet up with the buddies aka sisters gathering with Ling Ling and Yun Qin at Tampines One as yunqin they all always wanted a meet up but I was busy with appointments and hand cycling training hence unable to make it until last saturday we had meet up and I had to skip my hand cycling training first thought was just a normal usual lunch outing with the two of them we went shopping and I brought one track pants at 40% discount was super happy after buying as before buying it all I have was a trackpants that got stain badly this time got a black colour trackpants event got stain don't have to worry about the obvious mark. After so much shopping for track pants the girls decided that we should go have lunch I was like oh ok. So where are we gonna eat the Ling Ling said that she has booked seats at the western cuisine thought over there at that place very hard to get seats so go places that need seat reservations. Didn't know anything before that. After all the main food like pizza thought of its time for dessert then I ask Ling Ling what shall we have for dessert? Her reply was I go toilet first. After she return to her seat not long later started hearing birthday song my first thought was other table got people celebrating then after that I see all the waiters and waitresses looking at me and behind them was the cake I got shock lost of words. Before that ling ling keep taking picture I was like what are u doing then she say test camera actually I guess it's part of the celebration. Thank you girls for giving me a memorable celebration. I enjoyed myself a lot!

2011-12-26T12:55:00.004+08:00

Just passed my 21st birthday on Friday, 23rd December 2011.At first at the start I was thinking its gonna be an ordinary birthday with just a morning cut cake and that will be an end of the celebration probably just will have another meet up with Gina and Siao Yan and Cindy, at the start when I step into the house they really convince me that its christmas with all the decorations and probably BBQ as the last meet up with them were BBQ at the Cindy's place. But this time its all christmas dishes thurkeys lockcakes fried beehoon and curry chicken. So I assume that its a season to celebrate christmas only as I thought no one will know that its my 21st birthday. After dinner we had sarach game and had a few catch up session in the midst of conversation. "Vanessa is WANTED, Please come over!" First thought that probably I heard wrongly so continue then later on when I look at Siao Yan and they asked me to go over to the dining table. When I am at the table first thing I saw was cakes thought it was another christmas cake to gather call as when they call all especially went over too in the end was my 21st birthday celebration with everyone was very touch by the things that they do especially Siao Yan. Thank you EVERYONE for spending this special day with me. HUGZZ Love you guys to the MAX! :)

2011-11-24T17:16:00.003+08:00

Its been a few months since I last wrote a note on this blog have been busy with things around like school bowling and handcycling lately for handcycling we just ended the national disability league guess all must be wondering what on earth is handcycling about. its actually a bike being cycled by your hands instead of your legs and this event was actually held at F1 track it was a challenge to get there as the cab the exact venue can be driven in by vehicles unless you have the pass or notification got stuck at the singapore flyer good thing I bump onto Grace who is one of the transport coordinator from one of the transport company and she arrange a driver to drive me there thats so much of the beginning of introducing the national disability league wheelathon 360 its never easy to sign up but since I signed up myself for it I told myself I am going to FINISH the RACE well. Win or not doesnt matter as just by being part of the race I have already won half of the race. The whole event end off well. A couple of day there was a stranger out of no where when I was taking a train to school came to talk to me first we had introduction after introduction first question that this mother ask me was "xiao mei wo hen xi huan ni de kai lang wo ke yi jie shou wo de er zhi gei ni ren shi ni gen wo kai dao ta ke yi ma" and i agreed.The reason why I agreed with her was because I was once like her son so what her son go through I am able to talk to him and help him from there. Guess all these are bits and puzzle of life.

2011-05-25T16:41:00.005+08:00

Ever wonder where have the owner of this blog been for the past two week why is there no updates in the blog? 7th May had handcycling in the afternoon at simei ITE and after cycling went to had dinner hangout with Aisyah and Alvina at payalebar Singapost after went to join LP98 for BBQ gathering it was a great day that when I reached home I manage to get a good sleep. That was actually 7th May and on 8th May I went to church for there is a guest speaker coming Mrs Cho she is super cool the things she preached is simple to be understand at first my first impression was like oh man sure got problem understanding her. 9May was another day of bowling tournament and it was a great one thought that i am able to remain that standard hence started to feel very happy but on sat when I went for my practice in the morning I realised I have times that cant perform well. Probably because on the day I started to have blurring of vision that I am not able to perform wel as my hand keep banging onto the wheels of the wheelchair hence I know what my performance would be like for the league and the out comes was actually what I really thought it is. 12 May Went to turn up for my ENT appointment first time going to hospital on wheelchair for the safety reason was kinda lost my way but good thing in the end I manage to find my way. Doctor that I had appt with for ENT finally changed the medicine to a spray that is less bitter was so happy as I finally dont feel the bitterness in my throat. Well I thought this was the start of a good signs and on 20 May I went for my review for my lower limbs doctor and was being accompanied by siaoyan for the appointment doctor say for the moment everything was ok, was so happy the moment I heard that. Had an appointment in between the two appt that the optomologist appointment and the result shows that my left eye fails and my right eye was fine. When I was doing the procedures on 18May Julia came to accompany me. After procedure I was very down and started having thought but after not long Julia wanted a hangout so I said ok and hang out with her. Beginning I couldnt join her having fun as I was occupied with thoughts but while later start to put aside all my negative thoughts and join her. Following week I had the appointment with the dotor and thought I would be alone but Abigail came to accompany me when she was having her lunch break when she came I was still going through the procedures for preadmission after some time we decided to go get some food first instead of sitting there doing nothing but just waiting. Thanks for the company Abigail!! After appointment immediately headed to CSC planet bowl to vent out my frustration. After not long after bowling not long SiaoYan called to chat. After talking to her I felt a little relaxed.When reached home managed to half a half an hour nap. Though it was a short rest but at least better than nothing. Glad to have people like abigail, julia and Siaoyan by my side when I needed them most to be around me. Feels good to have all those people around when into bad moments.Great thanks to the ladies.

2011-05-06T12:14:00.003+08:00

Probably wondering where is the owner of the blog why is she not posting anything lately. This week is probably a week of break from Bowling tournament. But this does not mean that I do not have other activity. I am still one active one as today I have VAD represent Volunteer appreciation day and tommorrow I will be going for handcycling in the noon and in the evening gonna have a meet up with some other volunteers for BBQ probably tomorrow gonna be a day of excitement. Talking about handcycling I felt silly for my first session that was just last saturday as after the whole race I realised one of my break is locked that my speed was not to what was expected. Tomorrow gonna make sure all my breaks are unlock that i am gonna have even more fun cycling tomorrow. Lately I am probably a cheerful person as I am onto some colourful origamis whenever I sees rainbow stuff it will just put smile on my face I remember there was once on 23 April when I had bowling carnival and I was being sent as one of the players but I didnt do well for the game and Siao Yan knows that I am feeling down and brought me to have ice kachang as she know the moment she put some colourful things even dessert can just bring smile to my face no matter what. Wednesday suppose to have a look on how to make the way to hospital on wheelchair but due to rain when we reach the MRT station we last minute have to call it off. But I probably can have a rough guide on how to make the way there. Was kinda disappointed as i couldnt memorised the road as I didnt manage to get there on wheelchair there for feel sad when got home start folding some colourful origami after some time smile just start to appear on my face again. Guess I am one that is easily contented.

2011-04-10T16:44:00.003+08:00

Ever wonder what is the owner of the blog up to these day?
Well Mondays wednesday and friday will be going for bowling session. week end afternoon likely free most of the time.

Yesterday had a meet up with Siaoyan we went to ECP for a drink and after that went for a walk alot of times caught me into thoughts past present and future. Decided to seat somewhere was looking at people cycling reminds me of my childhood happy moments with all the good friends during those times. Passed by this bowling alley tempted to go into the alley to have a few games but due to because I dont have my wheelchair with me I cant bowl but had a great company even though cant bowl knowing that she is there to listen to me when I need someone to talk to or being company. MANY thanks for the company. After that headed to church to meet my CG mates everyone was like asking me where have I beeen for the whole afternoon my reply to them was out with friend. But GUESS WHAT?? I am going for bowling tomorrow with my personal ball!!! WOOHOO!!!Getting me excited.

2011-03-08T09:18:00.005+08:00

Ever wonder where have the owner of the blog been why is she not posting entries lately? there is the reason for why have been busy with demoralising medical appointments and meet up with friends and volunteering in some of the events. Had a ultrasound on 11 Feb things are still the same no better nor worse and on the following week went for the ENT appt as my nose were bleeding quite badly and to see the urology for the kidney dr told me that we can wait and observe at first I thought thats not too bad. Was pretty satisfied with the results in the morning appointment but when comes to the afternoon appintment thats the ENT appointment it seriously turn my mood to the directly opposite way and started to have insomia after that. Well a little hanging around with friends would help to cheer up a little so decided to go hang out at the cabin of NUH where by all patienta come together after appointment or when warded in the hospital. Just two weeks ago Went for some volunteering in career for kids workshop. Was so happy to see the kids having fun running about sometimes even forget myself being there as a volunteer. And on monday the 28th February I have found a new friend that was being intro to me as my buddy and her name is Siao Yan she is one who is there for me when I am at the most down period of my life. On thursday had a friendly competition among our team it was fun and relaxing as I was stressed up by the appointments. Had lots of fun with KARWAI JIAWEN BENEDICT and SAMMI. Thank you guys for the company that you guys game me. Well and again on 4th march had ENT appointment and sometimes find doctors sometimes would like to torture patients with those procedure and thats the SCOPE it was a painful one. After appointment immediately went to find KARWAI at cabin she knows my usual habit after appointment so she will drag me to grab something light and eat. Then after that headed to cabin to stay around with the company of KARWAI but half way through while she was talking to me I fell asleep at the couch at around 6pm aunt carol send me home. Then the next day Siao Yan accompany me to travel to some sports carnival. Was a active sports participant participated in ALOT of programs that one of the volunteers was like saying "OH MY GOD CAN YOU STOP JOINING ANY MORE SPORTS?" I replied " I cant cause its been too attractive to me. On one of the program I was even being shot on news . But didnt manage to catch that part as after carnival headed to church and thought everything is gonna be find but a while later temperature just keep shooting up that I got so scared and started to message Siao Yan and she sent me to hospital and dr said my temperature was high a while later Gina came along to company me as SY has to leave for thing and was accompanied by Gina from the time when they request to collect my blood till the blood reports are out was shivering so sat outside the waiting area thats not so cold a while later we decided to go to the garden for a walk and return to CE after a while social worker came to take over to accompany me till my brother when I was being accompanied by social worker she was like one who kept asking me to drink water when i am not thirsty. After hours finally can do CIC the WBC was a bit high so we suspect its anemia as I have got a history of anemia with Thalessamia trait. This comming Friday gonna be having appointment and hope everything is ok and not that what I am worried about

Origami Rose 3 (Part 2)

2011-01-30T17:48:00.000+08:00

Origami Rose 3 (Part 1)

2011-01-30T17:47:00.000+08:00

Origami Rose 2 (Part 1)

2011-01-25T18:56:00.000+08:00

2010-10-09T11:13:00.004+08:00

Had swop ministry schedule with another a friend in church. As I was serving Stella came to look for me and chatted a while after that we started to take ramdom pictures when no one is around. A while later May came over with a bottle of stars glow was so touch by the little things she did after I was being discharge. Thanks girl for the bottle of stars and the little encouragement cards.

2010-10-03T17:50:00.005+08:00

Past few days I was admitted to hospital as to review follow up for the conditions that I am suffering from pituitary microadenoma. Was admitted on 29 Sepember 8am as scheduled scan was 2pm. After doing admission procedure was probably 1130am. After that Stella came to visited me was so touched as she brought me home-cooked porridge with pig liver,prawn and pork. Thanks Stella!And was being sent down to the MRI centre earlier than scheduled when I was being sent down on the way met Zhimin at the lift. HAHA... Wah like that also can. When I was down Guo Wei came to visited me when I am not around in the ward found out when I return ward as the nurse told me when I was back that a guy put the messages on the table so I start to think of hanging it at the window. Was so touched by the messages written by my CG mates. Thanks C40 for being constantly by my side most of my obsticles days. In the afternoon Zachary came to over to visited me too was really a surprise when one by one coming by to visit me as the day passes. Later on when I was about to go down for a walk or rather to the play room to get some papers to draw May and John came over to visit me with tibits and i still mistook them as medical student sorry guys cause I don't really know you guys well so thought that you all are medical students as earlier before you all came I went to delifrance accessing internet logging to facebook then saw some people wearing white coat with thick medicine books on the table when I was passing by the tables to the computers to check mail and stuff. After that went to buy some candies and headed back to 8517 to bed and watch tv, do orgamis and fold stars at the same time to also to wait for doctor to come to me with the report of the MRI scan. A while later some student nurses came over during their free time and accompany me when I am doing origamis when I wanted some hot drinks they would wheel me down to outside ward 66 the vending machine there to get hot drinks. Thanks girls

2010-09-20T02:21:00.004+08:00

Past few days left for hongkong family trip thats why didn't post up any thing just return home not long ago. It was really a wild takeaway experience for me as I was really putting down all the conditions worries that I had in Singapore at home as things are not doing quite well as I am likely to go under a surgery soon. All has to be decide after 29 september that is my MRI scan whether operation or Radiation Therapy that depends on the progression of the pituitary adenoma. Do I feel scared and worried for that? I mean like if this happen to anyone, that person sure will get worried if it happens to that person. The other thing that I am worried about is also about the scan as the last scan done 4 months ago shows that there were some progression in addition there is another growth growing *hope that its not a cancer, and can be cured without going through surgery*.

2010-09-14T23:14:00.007+08:00

Guess I have to start exploring all my doubts that I have been having all these while as my performance for the fundraising has just ended a week ago! Allow me share a little about the concert that I was involved in performing. All these while have been busy preparing and rehersing for the concert hence blogging or writing onto my personal diary was never a thing that I will do when I am completely occupied with programmes. After all the programmes was my so-called free times but I often walk myself at Anchore point and often end up going to Snowy's shop and get a cup of frozen yoghut and after that all on my own walking around the shopping mall looking around but everytime my last shop to see is always stationary shop and i will buy star papers and fold stars due to some emotion issue after folding felt so much happy. Yesterday when I was running half way on my motorised wheelchair I was like walking towards Carrefour wanted find some shop to get drink as I was going along met Cherie and end up sitting down with her at a little dessert shop that has seats and tables to seat around and chit-chat for a while after that she walked me home. Thought going to be alone but end up being companied by her. WHAT A GOOD DAY I HAD. HOPE TO HAVE MORE OF THIS SOON

2010-08-29T02:42:00.007+08:00

Received a call from hospital past few days doctors still not quite convince about the problem. even started to question doctors like :
1.Is this true?
2.How true?
3.How serious?
4.Why so many things pile up as day passes?
5.Will there ever be happy ending?
6.should I put a hundred percent trust on the doctors that I am seeing?
7.Should I take he doctor's advice?
8.Whats the purpose of life?

All these things that are happening are seriously driving me go crazy when doctor say this I will end up asking the doctor "why like that?". Then doctor arrange an MRI in the hospital on 29 sept which is coming pretty soon, as days passes I start to loose sleep and start to wonder one thing and that is "what if next morning when I wake up my whole world is dark how am I going to carry on in life?" Please dont happen before I explore and find the answer. Going to leave it until I finish performing for fundraising. After appointment thought of going for hangout with some friends end up doctor ask me to go for sneak peak for channel news asia main news reason as cannot find patient i was like "huh?? er.. ok!" and all I have to do is to walk into the doctor room and let them shoot the consultation scenario.

2010-07-30T19:11:00.004+08:00

Yesterday afternoon went for an appointment for neuro in a private hospital a review to last years report comparison the difference between this year and last year after hearing the report i started to be a little devilstated mummy brought me some bread i said no as i was emotional break down just dont want her to worry thats why never say. The little hope that was given to me last year was being destroyed majority as the doctor was not quite positive with the result. Monday shall get things settled down weather operation or treatment.

2010-07-11T23:03:00.004+08:00

Just receive a call from hospital on Friday afternoon for the release of blood test report and its stated that I have got thalassemia (Alpha) which is a thalassemia that is minor. I am glad that when I answer the phone call from hospital I was in church seating beside Evonne

2010-06-30T09:36:00.001+08:00

Its been one week since I got discharged from hospital. Today I receive a call from hospital was told that I have to go back to hospital for blood test of thelessamia type THIS IS like thinking OH MINE! ANOTHER NEVER ENDING OF POKING FOR BLOOD TEST

2010-06-02T00:47:00.002+08:00

Starts to loose confidence in everything that I do even my BS teacher also notice it teacher say you seem v fastrated I was like wondering how to not be fastrating with all the strugglings?...THIS TIME IS REALLY THATS IT!!! Why is it like that? Seen the doctor yesterday and doctor say the result still quite ok juz right eye a little affected but I hope it wont affect much on my daily life it not its going to be terrible. An incident happen today when I was wheeling myself on the Karma wheelchair all of a sudden my right eye got quite blur and my speed start to slower. During lecture Eddie say copy faster I was like thinking "huh? how to copy faster in such situation?" never say out. Well guess things just gonna continue just have to really find out how the way to out of problem. An other incident was last week when I was on my way to my lecture room my whole wheelchair the foot rest went out of position as i couldnt see the edge and bang onto the wall and after that I headed to Payalebar to send my wheelchair for service after that headed home to print work. Guess its going to be a little bit more time for me to get things done. " By the way to BS lecturer is not that I want to slow down is I got no choice PLEASE BE MORE UNERSTANDING!!! I wonder how is my lecture going to be like tomorrow will difficulties be still the same?
>>>>>QUESTION MARK QUESTION MARK QUESTION MARK<<<<<

2010-05-17T22:55:00.002+08:00

Wah today is my first day of TERM 4 so exciting but also so sian. exciting is because i start to study new topics like FUNDAMENTALS OF INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY for A class & BUSINESS STATISTICS for B class. I see the fundamentals of info tech and statistics and got a shock as FIT so thick statistic so thin. start to do calculation again!!! At the end of the lecture I ask lecturer "Sir, can I go for another lecture to listen again? By the way I am from the A class." Lecturer replied "if you don't find it boring you are more welcome to attend the lecture to recap what was being thought by listening again" I was like thinking "if go again if any part missed out can add on. Lecturer smiled and kept quiet without giving any bad remark like " come for two for what? waste time only!!!" instead he said "Good" and even ask "will you be going for tomorrow's BS class for A class?" I replied "YES, OF COURSE! I AM ORIGINALLY FROM THAT BATCH!" and smiled and help me out with the heavy doors of the class. This term is the best term that I ever had.

2010-05-14T00:37:00.004+08:00

12 mid night
Did the most craziest thing is to drag the appointment date to even further. postpone the appointment to last week of september the nurse ask me why i change the appointment I told her " orh got school at that timing sch cannot be missed once missed gone" then the nurse say " you wait the appointment how long you want to wait?" i replied "5 months can?" the nurse said "three months i dont have only have 6 months time" I was like thinking "oh ok" arranged an appointment to 6 months time. Nurse on the phone advice me "anytime feeling not usual in visual like seeing double of blur must call and arrange for a visual field test and see the doctor again. I agreed on the phone but i dont know IF I will hold on to my promise to anyone. Guess this time I might have to disappoint alot of people. But probably yes i might take the nurse advice if not I will end up myself with alot of injuries due to drip over falls.

2pm
Receive a email from Ms quek aka Mrs Garcia who was my 老师when I was P4 my last three quarter of my P4 days a wonderful caring teacher and mama that I know of been through lots of things with me could still remember those times when I just started studying in your class you know that i probably cannot catch up as you have taught the rest until quite far and ask me to join the remedial class after school hours. You are not just concern about the student's studies you also care about student's feeling and will make sure the student is happy doesnt have any troubles to me you are no longer a teacher more of a sister who is willing for hear us out and comfort us when we are down even after we graduated from studies. We shall all GAMBETTE towards our recover see you when you come back we should be having good news for one another.

2010-05-11T18:35:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I had an appointment in the hospital in clinic 1A. Spend almost my whole day there for appointment and this appointment one of the procedure is HVF and the result it out it wasnt as good as i wanted now waiting for the doctor to refer me to the neuro. I feel like a coward now as I keep pushing back the appointment instead of facing it witth courage. Today I called up and push the appointment which is suppose to be 6 weeks time but I was so scared so called up to to change and push to 4 months time. I AM A REAL COWARD NOW!!!

2010-05-08T00:58:00.002+08:00

one week of less number of hours of sleep due to fear of the outcomes. Monday is the appointment 完了because I am still not prepared for the torture. This one week is a holiday to the rest of my classmates but it does not seems like a holiday to me it seems like just the start of my torture of going for medical appointment.

2010-04-29T23:28:00.002+08:00

Went to TTSH today for the appointment. Basically I just spent my whole day in the hospital as I have to go through alot of assessments and several eye drops which is something I really dislike going through so many assessements seems like never ending. was waiting and waiting thought faster see leh then can go home but I guess I am wrong as there are more stuff for me to go through. Was waiting then the nurse over there super good see I wait there even ask me if i am hungry if so she went down to MR BEAN there and bought me peanut pancake& soya milk. After eating, finally not long later it was my turn but I sat there too long until I have the urgency to use the toilet. Told them that I will be back soon.Indeed I return quite soon. The test result was not quite good as I wanted it to be as the result shows that there is something wrong on my right eye. They arranged an other neuro specialist on the 10 may in the morning. Pretty scared now every day I hardly able to get enough sleep as due to fear of going for appointments as afraid of the outcomes.

2010-04-29T00:07:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went to KKH and had a review of my current condition and doctor ask me if i have done the visual field test for my right eye i said "no" doctor then ask me when is my appt I told him 28 June then he ask me "Huh? Why so long?" I told him called the hospital and the date that you all sent me was 7june ask for earlier date they say must check and patient also need to call up the hospital and check i was like thinking "huh? Orh...ok" Date that I gave doctor was 7 june to eye clinic so they say ask try and call and ask for earlier appointment so went to called up and was given another earlier date and that would be tomorrow which suits doctor's idea of going for earliest appointment but I am not looking forward to it as fear starts to increase due to past few days experiences of blur vision which leads to falls after falls after falls currently ended myself with many injuries and bruises on my hands.

2010-04-23T22:54:00.002+08:00

Today its my due of submission for Principal of marketing & Production Management. Me and my group of china team mates we submitted for assignment guess we were the first group that has submitted it. Teacher even joke like thing "if you all cant submit your assignment today nevermind submit it during you remodule" I was like thinking "huh? siao!! struggle so much figuring out what are the things to copy yet still cannot make it " After submitting the assignment teacher went through some of the past year exam questions and the sad thing is that I was not able to copy all the notes due to cannot cope in reading by seeing using one eye but continue to copy then afternoon I went for the other class which is the foreign class to finish copying all the necessary notes. Teacher say "ei i show to your class this slide already mah why you still copy?" I replied"yes cher you did show my class this slide but just that I was not able to copy everything on time" so teacher kept quite as he knows that things not doing quite well for me. Cause in our school every term ended students must do evaluation form for both teachers so I evaluated "PMPM-Mr Siew Very good give more time for me to copy the necessary notes that I need" but for the other module"BL-Mr D made me go crazy as he already know that I needed more time to write as due to vision problem so take more time to figure out what was shown on the board instead of saying "ok I give you more time to copy" he said " you cannot copy finish everything sure fail cause you cannot write finish everything on time" I replied " but I had the letter for extension of time" then he say "oh ok" but during the copying of notes he still show no mercy and did not give me more time to copy the things on the slide. Then after PMPM first lecture when I went for the second lecture in the midst I am like multi-tasking here busy figuring what I missed out and copy by guessing what was on the board there on the phone with TTSH for the arrangement for appointment due to the blurring of vision for the past few months. Finally have a conclusion of when the appointment was being made and that is going to be on the 7 june which is the day after I came back from some volunteering in camp. AFter so much of fun come back next day everything got spoiled. FEAR starts to increase day by day. Wondering when will it ever stop.

2010-04-21T20:43:00.004+08:00

Struggling through with all the blurring of vision since the last time I blogged till now.. Good thing its only right eye only most of the time if not I would most probably have problem doing my work for school and not even to say blog here. Today I had Business Law lectures and today its also a day for my submission of business law assignment for one class. As agreed with the coordinator i am allowed to go for two lectures when I am not able to cope in catching up the things I missed. When I go for Principle of Marketing and Production Management teacher smiled at me and said "listening to the same thing not sian ah?"but I smiled back and kept quiet as I know I need a repeat lectures for the situation that I am in currently and kept quiet and continue writing on the parts that I missed during the first lecture at least the second lecture can catch up if go one lecture sure confirm FAIL as unable to have the full set of not written by my own during lecture. Yesterday the lecture schedule was quite strange as I had a 4 hrs break so during the 4 hrs I decided to make my way down to my Secondary School and have lunch with the teachers we sat around and chatted for quite a while then after that around 4 I left and returned to school for the other lecture. Had a fun time when I was there catching up with the teachers who have taught me and help me when I needed help during my secondary school days when I reached the school I felt so home and all the familiar food that I used to eat and the drinks that I drank during those school days. Even having the thought of going back to secondary school every other week. Even some of the sec one students also can recognise me already not to even say for the canteen vendors to remember me. Thanks guys for all the great memories!!!

2010-04-12T23:01:00.003+08:00

As appointment with the neuro was being pushed forward to last thursday 8April where by its supposed to be on 9April but doctor was not available on that day. At first I still thought of going back to school after the two doctors' appointment but after my second appointment I didn't manage to go back school for lesson until today then I started to go back school as I was being admitted for several procedure of checks as I was found out of having pituitary adenoma. Guess I am good at not telling people whats going on for the past two months I have been having blur vision on my right eye but never tell doctors about it. After doctors found out about it immediately arrange for admission to check. At first I thought its going to be next week or something then do MRI but after that they called the ward and said that there was a bed available was trembling when I was being wheeled up from the admission centre to the ward...Could not imagine till now they still warded me to the paediatrics ward where by I am already 20...hehe...when I was being pushed up into the ward first I met one of my doctor which I have been seeing for a long long time since young. Then after that when I was on my way up to the ward I actually met a doctor that I know of during my trip to bangkok with an organisation last november who took care of each and everyone of us when we are not feeling well when we are out of singapore. Past few days when I was in the hospital thanks for coming by my bed every day to chat with me like a friend instead of a patient if I was treated as a patient I guess I would probably just hide away from you and not even to listen to you by going for the appointment with the eye doctor or go for uncountable of MRIs as inserting of contrast is painful and after the scan the contrast start to have side effects like vomitting after the scan when i am back to the ward i was unable to intake so end up have to be put on drip for glucose for 3 days and on sunday where by i am able to intake food so the drip was being took off. Talking about the MRI doctor says that there is still a tumor over at the pituitary gland there its turn up to be 1.1cm hoping for miracles to happen and that the tumor got smaller and slowly disappear at the same time to regain my full vision. Gonna see the eye specialised very soon and after that probably make a decision. Big thanks to Joey GuanZhen Shiling jiejie and meixin(Da jie) for being there for me all these while, sending words of encouragement and talking to me on the phone and MSN for the past few night. I will try to hang on there and not do silly things all the way till the end.

2010-04-05T21:13:00.004+08:00

Started my day by returning a missed call from the hospital after calling them they said that the doctor will not be free on friday,9 of april which is this coming friday so they changed the appointment after receiving the new date I am not quite agree with it which is push forward a day and its thursday 8april.started to feel lost after receiving that call on the way back to lecture from break.

2010-03-21T23:49:00.003+08:00

Once again I went for Learn-To-Play bowling on wheelchair... this time I had a different feeling when i start to bowl...this is like a form of destress i guess... first few throw it was all down to the gutter but after that its like got hit down pins i was like woah...after all I guess since I still can bowl. I guess there is still some hope I can see in this sport that I am learning... each time when someone hit down the pins we will start to encourage one another feels so good... first time when i hit down the pins i thought i was like woah am I dreaming? then after that Lynn and Joyce and their mummy and some of the players saw started so encourage I feel that I should not give up when the pins were not hit...when pins got down is like troubles also got down...probably lessen I guess I should see it this way!!! TOMORROW IS A BETTER DAY!!!

2010-03-19T23:55:00.002+08:00

As tomorrow I am going to be involved in some bowling activity somethings started to question me: how long am I able to continue with bowling? As day passes things became harder pain attack more frequent but I will always get myself to find ways to be distracted from the pain hence started folding origamis and stars as these where the things that I really enjoy doing when I am at home. If I am not occupied I probably back to where I was last year getting myself more unwanted cuts. Guess Life still have to move on no matter how hard things come across...I will try my best to carry on with the things that I am doing...This should not be the ending this should be the beginning!!!

2010-03-18T18:29:00.004+08:00

Am i ever that useless? keep tripping and fall?? I WONDER WHEN WILL EVERYTHING GO BACK TO NORMAL??? WHY IS EVERYTHING KEEP HAPPENING TO ME? THOSE UNWANTED EVENTS KEEP COMING...WHY? WHY? WHY?

2010-03-17T00:17:00.002+08:00

Its been a few days since I last posted something... was pretty in pain as so I cant really write...started to lost hearings and headaches keep attacking me and later on my right eye yesteday just vision start to blur on my right side...things keep attacking me...PLEASE STOP!!! Got an appointment with doctor on 9April 2010 Guess its time for me to arrange a check again as symtoms are here and besides its suppose to be a annual MRI done but i have not gone since then...I guess I better go arrange one before things got worse...I guess its sometimes ok to feel scared and cry but sometimes i still hide myself under blankets then cry probably i dont want people to know, thats why!!! I Got to get up strong and pick up things easily I guess

2010-03-12T12:45:00.008+08:00

the wonderful FRIENDS that I had from YV

Thanks to AUTOSOS N FLYPAO for being there for me all these while you guys ROCKXxxx aside from those who i mention in the previous post you guys were the ones who where always there for me when I really needed someone when I am down and you guys would just send me thuns and thuns of encouragement through via sms each time i go for my medical appointment..Will always remember 12February2010 as I really enjoyed. Below are the photos taken when we were out at suntec(sorry if some pictures taken by my cam are blur)

2010-03-01T01:02:00.003+08:00

Its been a long time since i updated my blog as i was emoing one who is very upset on things happening in life...as day passes I start to bang myself until head started to bleed for that i did not tell anyone about it just tell them i accidentally knock instead of hurting myself as i am upset due to the pain and the lost of hearing at times i will really get really tired. Jie Jie shiling thanks for being there for me for the past few months when i needed someone you are always there for me at this moment when health condition popping out questions that i start to feel lost.

2010-01-13T15:39:00.004+08:00

BACK TO MY REVISION TODAY. TRIED TO BE BACK WALKING AGAIN AND I DID MANAGE TO WALK EVEN THOUGH THERE IS SOME PAIN BUT THIS IS SOMETHING THAT CANNOT BE AVOIDED. TODAY CONTINUE WITH ORGANISATION BEHAVIOR REVISION SO MANY THINGS WE WILL SOON BE CRAZY OVER THESE TOPICS NOW IS JUST ONLY MY REVISION I STILL HAVE GOT PASSED YEAR PAPERS TO PRACTICE. GUESS TODAY I WILL NOT MOVE ABOUT WILL BE ON DESK! WAS JUST CHECKING MY EMAIL JUST NOW RECEIVE AN EMAIL FROM A PARTICULAR ORGANSATION SAYING THAT THEY ARE ORGANISING A TEN PIN BOWLING COURSE FOR ALL DISABLED YOUTH WELL I GUESS I AM NO LONGER A YOUTH AM I? WELL I SHALL GIVE IT A TRY BUT AS I REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE PLAYING SPORTS MAKE ME FEEL NORMAL WHEN I PLAY LIKE OTHERS. ACCORDING TO THEM AFTER THE TRAINING ONCE I MASTERED THE GAME,I CAN FINALLY PARTICIPATE IN NATIONAL DISABILITY LEAGUE. THIS SEEMS TO BE A DREAM TO ME AS SINCE YOUNG PEOPLE IN MY SCHOOLS THEY DONT ENCOURAGE ME IN THOSE BUT THROUGH THIS ORGANISATION I AM ABLE TO JOIN THE PLAY SPORTS BUT PROBABLY IN A DIFFERENT WAY BUT AT LEAST I AM ABLE TO PARTICIPATE I AM SATISFIED ALREADY. BUT ONE PROBLEM IS THAT I KEEP LOOSING MY HEARING ABILITY ON MY RIGHT EAR WHICH IS SOMETHING I REALLY HATED IT MOST PLEASE!!!!GET AWAY FROM ME AND DON'T EVER COME BACK AGAIN. HEARING ABILITIES PLEASE COME BACK!!!

2010-01-12T20:37:00.003+08:00

Today is not really a pleasant day as I went as plan there will be an audition for me in the evening but I slipped and fell when I was heading to church after meeting a social worker before my meet up with her things was not so good too as my hearing ability is not doing quite well that I even the pain comes i tend to press onto. after the pain I decided to went back home as I was walking I didnt realise i was walking towards a puddle of water & bomp here I go on the ground & crutches flew. No longer the positive Vanessa that everyone knows. NO MATTER WHAT I DO IT NEVER GO SMOOTH...WHY????????

2010-01-11T23:26:00.001+08:00

Today I had make up lesson for Business Accounting & Finance. Teacher stop walking to the back teacher when you are in front cause I cannot really hear what you teach. Guess today the pain has lessen as shown as I am able to reduce number of sweets I need to chew in order to reduce the pain but the hearing is still quite bad still not functioning quite well. I wonder how long does this last.Please return everything back to normal SOON!!!

2010-01-10T22:53:00.003+08:00

我的天啊when are all the deafness and pain be gone every time i have to standby chewy sweet by my side when pain need to chew again...why will everything going to end!!! I had enough of it already...if the pain continue to come I will continue banging myself...smile in vanessa leong has disappeared... as pain keep coming earlier part of this evening it was I start to felt a bit better as I was chatting with my Jie Jie (meixin) we might not be biological sisters but our relationships with one another are very close sisters. Thought that we were just saying that time now that she say this phrase "I am your sister face together, i am your sister a day forever your sister", I know that there will be someone by my side when condition got worse. Thanks sis for being there for me when I am not feeling good.

2010-01-09T01:31:00.002+08:00

Today actually is the official last day of school before exam break but ms tan was on mc yesterday so monday need to go back for extra class or rather i should say pay back class. Today I got to say that going for lectures is a challenge to me as I was not able to get into the clas if I didnt get any help from friends as the classroom is at the surrounding the pond side so no slope to link to so must wait for people to passed by to help...Thought that I will never face such problem anymore but I guess I am wrong. The class was more of chionging type as today is the last day. But we manage to finished up which is good. During Gloria's lecture I was sufferring as I was unable to hear clearly what Gloria is saying started to go to the canteen to get some sweets to chew and thought that would regain very soon as chewing with out realising I have chewed off 4 sticks on mentos sweet which scared everyone off first one was the green apple come grape come mints...when reached home I gave up and decided to hunt for chewing gum to chew instead after chewing for quite some time I am able to hear more or less as like before.Wah...Its been a long long time since last met 姐姐 Shiling haha meeting her soon as i just receive an email from her .So happy finally get to meet her again after decades of years...haha... I wonder if we could still recognise one another...HAHAHAHAHA...we will find out soon!!!

2010-01-07T22:23:00.003+08:00

Today was not a good day ending. I didnt started it good as I cant really hear clearly what Gloria is saying when explaining due to my hearing problem where by i on phone sometimes also got problem hearing what the other party is saying. thats definitely no good. I wonder how long this would last. Hopefully this will end soon got really tired of it!!!

2010-01-06T22:47:00.003+08:00

Today I somehow having a mixed feeling as I had lecture off means can do self revision thats the happy thing sad thing is that I am still having the pain and difficulties in hearing but good for me today as I can do my revision at home no need to go library. Thats the best thing when I am in such what i call the pain/torture to me. REALLY hope things will be over soon and as what Ms leong said "Rainbows will appear after a heavy downpour". Guess Firdaus is really one can look up too when not feeling good as to him "if one emo the other emo together"...Well I am emo because of pain I wonder how is he going to be emo with me??? this would be a question mark!!!

2010-01-05T22:09:00.003+08:00

Today is actually suppose to be lecture day but Ms Tan lost her voice so we had no lectures instead we had tutorial. After tutorial headed back home thought after lunch can start revising at home BUT in the day time it was quite hard to concentrate as the drilling noise got so loud until i started to had headache and in the end I lost my hearing on my left ear for a few hours went back to campus when I was on my way back I happen to met Mr Wong one of my primary school Chinese teacher headed to the canteen to get a cup of fresh juice to drink while studying in the canteen since my hearing is still not fully recovering then right ear listen to music studied until 7 then slowly make my say home. Thought that after the 730 in the evening everything should had stopped so make my way home when I was on my way home met one of my primary school canteen vendor she brought her dog down for a walk played with it for quite a while after that headed back home for dinner. After dinner started studying for OB again now I am still at chapter two but I believe I can finished up to 11 soon!!! Guess this week afterall is a reunion week where by I get to see almost everyone that I have not seen for a long time. HAHA...I think I still have a few have not met for years. Will arrange to meet them AGAIN!!!

2010-01-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

Guess should get back to my blog posting as due to medical condition to assure that I am still surviving even though with pain. Well today I went hospital to visit Khristine. Well I think I was the first one to reach thought as its going to rain at my house to thought of going abit early before I am stuck no where. When reached thought that probably meet Ms leong before visiting Khristine so drop her a sms then when reached call her. Before Ms Leong came I met shalini also from my secondary school who was there for medical check up We chatted for quite a while then after that she went back to work while I am in the canteen waiting for the guys while waiting I bump onto someone familiar again she is non other than my primary 3 form teacher Ms Lui wah this is like so long ago. Guess today is a day of coinsidence in hospital. When I got into the ward to get some help in hiding the surprise for Khristine I kept bumping onto other nurses and doctors who took care of me last year when I was in the ward. Could still remember in the middle of the night got woke up by them almost every night to change the cubicle what I called "merry-go-round". one of the beds was where my friend is staying now so the nurse will never forget. Had a very deep impression of that particular ward. Guess today this surprise for Khristine was quite succesful at first we were kind of worried as her mum saw me at the foodcourt in the hospital accidentally leak up the surprise to her mum told her to tell khristine when she went up to the ward before us she kept saying so touching but i told her not to say anything as a surprise for Khristine. Guess this surprise was a successful one as we manage to cheer her up.One thing for me to feel is that when I saw her on injection I could really feel very painful as I myself have been through it. Hope she will get out soon

2010-01-03T12:15:00.002+08:00

Guess today it was not quite good but I still continue with be pain kinda like a torture to me as its on and off I will lost my hearing on my right ear for quite some time which is making me quite miserable especially when during lectures when teacher walk here walk there cannot read the teacher's lips on what she is trying to say the only thing that I can catch up is to. Since the pain relapse I have not been able to eat well or sleep well. The only thing that I can do to make me feel not so miserable is to have a fulfil day but when pain comes. But I think I am able to overcome the problems soon!

2010-01-02T23:59:00.004+08:00

Today I had a one full day. Was out since 12 noon till night at about 830 reached home at about 9plus then spend time with my cousin. Started travelling to church to meet up with Peck Lian my (one million year friend), Yassy, and Marilyn at Pasta Mania and was told that there is a ministry started for us and for us to reach out to those friends who have the same/similar health problem to somehow form a support group. The moment I heard I was like "huh?" was kind of surprise when they say so. Can give it a try I guess. then in the midst we started talking about our individual life like how and what kind of health issue we going through etc. Guess thats not all they even manage to find out what are our interest.WOW. After all of those went up to church and find CG to find seats for service it was really great before service started I did some reading on my school notes. Thought that it would be the end of surprises for the day but the answer was NO! This is not the end of the surprises for the day after service they say they want to gather then wait for the rest to come then go eat together I was like oh ok. While waiting I was sitting down and talking for some other CG mates all of a sudden they announce "Hi everybody today we are celebrating Vanessa's Birthday!" then after that they started singing birthday songs Guess this group of friends will be more than friends to me as they would even celebrate my birthday every year since they know me they are also one who can be there for me when I am down emotionally or physically. Had a yummy cake its oreal cheese cake. WOW!!!THANKS EVERYONE!!!

2009-12-31T22:58:00.004+08:00

Today is the 4th month ever since the day i was diagnosed what cause the headache and blur vision. Thought that things would be better day by day but since last week things was not as good as headaches start to come back some times it was so pain that its like bursting. Due to pain I was not able to either eat or sleep well. When I am school I am not able to concentrate what the lecturer is teaching for the lesson the only thing I can do is to hide myself somewhere where no one can find and start to cry for some time as the pain sometimes is unbearable that some times I start to find things to hit my head, hit my eye area or in another words thought of giving up in life which I know everyone will not agree for that but REALLY TIRED with the pain and torture. When I am in class I just have to bear with it on 21 December 2009 the pain was so unabarable that I walked out without teachers permission or rather i should say before the break for the day was out of the class for quite some time as i locked myself up in the toilet to start crying as I dont want the whole class to see my emo face. Thanks Milinda being there to comfort me when I am in pain if not I think I will just find things to hurt myself leh. Since then I am not able to eat well every day all I had in school were 4 cups of milo which lasted me until evening. Life for me don't seem good as I have to tolerate with the pain and tiredness due to pain. Here I would like to say a big thank you to DBMD 10965A for being there for me when I am in pain to make me feel that I am not alone and celebrating my birthday on 23 December 2009 and of couse not forgetting the friends I made in YV camp and met up for afterglow on 26 December when during lunch FLYING PAO started to singing in the mids everyone in YV started singing and sending birthday greeting on 23 December via facebook and sms. Thanks TO EVERYONE FOR BEING BY MY SIDE WHENEVER I NEED! I SHALL CONTINUE WITH THE BATTLE

2009-11-17T00:18:00.005+08:00

Guess everyone would have one's unhappiness and some of these events will not be so easily forget. Well I shall start, On last monday as my mum booked a session with FarEast shopping center salon. As treatment was long so I decided to have a break and went to the washroom when I am finished when I am inside the toilet so went back to the salon I was shocked to see a Sister From CCPS that I know off but she didnt recognise me as I left that school when I was P3 could still remember before I went into P3 life was not smooth as teachers would see me in a different thinking. Guess all the memories in CCPS is NEVER going to be pleasant. Got looked down by teachers some times they would even drag my mama and keep saying that I am too slow cannot continue in a normal school and that I need to go to a special school as after they started with this I was told by this teacher to go for a special "tuition" class well I don't enjoy going as the teacher in charge was one who really looked down on me. When comes to P3 teachers start to doubt my learning ability and stop giving me assessments,spelling,dictation,听写 as they thought that I will not be able to do it as to them I am a slow learner. But whats wrong with slow learning. Not just this there were many other incident which its almost impossible for me to list them all even stopped by them from going for Chior as they thought it would not look good for me to go for SYF so before SYF started my teacher ask me to leave the CCA as I will not be able to make through on the costume measuring for SYF the teacher ask me to skip the session and the next session she told me to leave the CCA I was wondering why then teacher started saying "heard from some teachers you cannot make it in your studies i dont think you can make it in chior. By the way at that time is not I cannot make it is I got problem picking things up but that does not mean that you could stop giving me spelling other assignments "No assignment" mean "dont even give the chance for me to do well" I remember when I was in the Chior I often help teacher to play the piano for a period before gossips start after it started everythings started to be like a nightmare. Till now I still often loose sleep because of that.Guess things are not so easy to be let off especially those bad experiences of childhood!!!

2009-10-15T11:31:00.002+08:00

My mama was being transferred to normal ward on sunday and after observing in the normal ward she was finally discharged on sunday and after observing in the ward on tuesday she was finally discharged from hospital. Then on wednesday things finally went back to normal. Tricia started to do revision with us and she used my book to show the rest as demostration on which are the notes that are important. After revision session with Tricia I headed to QSS to visit the teachers. Haha...Yes Ms Tan I am back. Came back to hang out. Guess if Cassandra know this she will say I crazy why would I hang out in her school. Went there to have lunch with the teachers. Went up to second floor to find the teachers met Ms Lim my Secondary four form teacher had a chat with her after that headed to second floor and find Mrs Teo and Mrs Lim Mrs Teo was there but Mrs lim was on MC end up I saw Mrs Kumar. After that as I wanted to go down the lift was spoiled so I called the office and after a while the lift was back again. Headed to canteen to buy some food home Wow now they even sell sushi this is so cool! Last time when I was studying there the school does not have that I bought a plate of Fish n Chip from store 2 and eat in the canteen after that I headed to the sushi store to buy two pack of sushi home. As I was about to walk out the security guard stopped me and passed me another two packet of sushi. As I get out through the longer way and met Mr Chan had a chat with him and after that I headed home. See alot of teachers that I never thought of seeing them due to timing. Headed back home and started eating. Thats for tuesday. Yesterday I had lecture sessions with Mr Toh this session was not really lecture its consider as revision Mr Toh go through the topic that will come out for exam he uses my book to mark up the points which is for set A section A set B section Aand set A section B he uses four colours to differentiate which is which. After going through set A we had a short toilet break and after that go back go through normally the break is half an hour but Mr Toh knows that we are celebrating Shanie's birthday and finished the lecture early and of course the break also shorten its timing, After lecture we started the celebration and end it with a photo taking session in class until we was being chased out by other batches.

2009-10-10T23:51:00.007+08:00

This is a photo of my beloved mama(grandma). Lose sleep last night as yesterday morning when I was taking shower about to comeout I heard mama calling my maid I go my room after shower saw my maid carrying mama pressing with tissue paper on her head to stop the bleeding and the floor in my room was a pool of blood. And shouted for my parents and
say: "MUM, SIR! AHMA Ah Ma!" the moment we heard that we immediately ran to my our bed room and check and called the abulance and sent her to Alexandra hospital which is the nearest hospital I went school but I was blur and was unable to concentrate on lesson for Tracia's class after break I end up going to the wrong entrance that link to the room during break I totally lost my appetite as I am worried for her in the end a cup of milo lasted me for the entire day when she was being sent to Alexandra hospital they did not admitted her but to sent her to National university Hospital as AH do not have the Neuro. Upon arriving hospital she was being sent directly to High Density Unit Doctor say that there is a blood cot there hopefully it will subside and not grow bigger if not there might need an operation to be done to take out the blood cot. The moment conditions stabled she will be trnasferred to a normal ward. Hopefully she can be transferred soon. Got so scared that I am not able to sleep!

2009-09-20T11:59:00.000+08:00

Today its really a good day as I am filled with things that i really enjoy doing since morning and i went to church. thinking of going to the yoghurt shop but when I go there it was closed then I remembered today its a holiday. Headed to church to have CEG and after that we had picnic at alfresco after eating decided to hang arounnd and went to mac donald to have ice cream and after that headed to back church for service. As I was at the service pastors started preaching and his sermon really impacted my life started crying as i felt the presence of God was the strongest presence that i have ever felt. Wow my day was really a good and fruitful day as I have learnt alot of things today. Then not long after service mummy brought me home pack food for dinner its wonton mee and after eating I headed to the bookstore to help out in the registration for BMT and at 6 I headed to the BMT session. The session was so good that during the worship session I started crying and crying then after that it was pastors who preach to us after the session we were told to go into groups to do QT and after that we were back to receive the word from pastors . After the session mummy and I headed back home as we were walking out alot of people were running to the last train we knew that we were not able to catch the last train and so we took a cab home. When I had a bowl of noodles and after that headed to bed as I was tired after a long and enjoyable day.

2009-09-17T22:39:00.002+08:00

started doing some question for Fundamentals of marketing was doing lecture 3 questions but I was unable to concentrate well in doing the questions as I am having a very bad leg cramp thought of getting some things from my room but as i was walking i slipped and fell things got worse and i was unable to use the strength of my right leg as it has gone numb and there were pain and numbness on the lower part the ankle of my right leg. Got pretty scared. Guess today I am going to loose sleep again.

2009-09-15T23:30:00.005+08:00

Had a bad start of my week as i have been really busy with my personal things recently. Busy arranging appointments to go to TTSH to collect my shoes. Had a last minute appointment yesterday the person incharge of my case only gave me a 15 min allowance to travel from home which is almost impossible to do so by the time i reached Novena mrt station its 4 then the cheeky nurse still say dont know if he want to see you if he don't want to see you. you might have to come again tomorrow. Then the person in charge even asked me why I am on crutches. Started to be on crutches for a year already say what using crutches will lesson my muscle but if i over use my leg and fall because of tiredness the crack will come back how. How am I going to move about? At least on crutches more mobile just don't understand why he says that. Now my leg is quite pain as i walked from novena mrt to block 103 took me half an hour to reach block 103. Pretty tired now. Reached home at around 1pm. After I reached home I took a rest for a while and started revision for Fundermentals of marketing and principles of business management 1.

2009-09-12T01:06:00.003+08:00

Today I had a wonderful start of the day. Woah my course coordinator would actually come at 8 instead of 10 today and today I am taking my communication skills as my paper starts at 830. First time!!! For the section B all I did was the memo and the letter. When I finish writing my essay it was just on time after I had my extra time of half an hour. After exam I decided to go back home as I have to put down my things as I have got a doctor appointment to go at NUH at 2pm. As I was on my way suddenly there was abit of drizzling at first i thought a umbrella should be able to cover but as i was on my way back my umbrella flew off and hit the bushes so i went to go get it after that I headed back home and when i reached home I was totally drenched immediately went to change to avoid falling sick. After that I went to call uncle ma to say that I will be heading to NUH for medical check up as I was on my way we had a long chat after I have alight from uncle ma's cab I decided to go to the canteen to probably grab a bite but I was having some gastric problem so decided to have something light and that is a bowl of red bean soap. Yummy... After eating the red bean soap i decided to walk back to take my Q number with mummy to see doctor after taking number they say still got a long Q so we went back to the Kopitiam to have something light in the end i only had a drink and a kueh. Today to my surprise as I was walking to bangarwansolo I met Ms Leong from QSS she was a staff of NUH. Had a wonderful chat with her even though it was a short one after see doctor decided to take the shuttle bus to dover mrt station to take bus home as we were waiting for the bus I met vivian my senior when I was still studying in QSS. Haha...Today its a day where I will see lots and lots of familiar faces. What a wonderful day I had!

2009-09-07T16:56:00.004+08:00

Today I just had Principles of accounting and finance exam...started with a bad day but have a good ending. Was being told to go to E128 but when i go check my sitting arrangement my name is not in the list. When I realised my name was not in the name list the first thing I did was to look for Karder but when I go to the student service unit the staff there said that he will only be here after 10am but my paper starts at 830am by the time he arrive i almost finished my paper. Waited for him for hours outside the student service unit.After that they arranged the few of us to go other classroom to take. Well a start should have a ending even though i had a bad start but I had a good ending and that is i manage to finish the paper on time. Which i usually don't.phew!!! what a relieve that I manage to do. Oh ya talking about the paper some of the questions has got the format. Abit weird ah. Cause usually they don't give the format =)

2009-09-06T23:23:00.000+08:00

Was bugging over the accounts formula until i nearly went crazy. Today is super tired for me. I am now still coughing until quite bad.haiz...WHY ARE THINGS SO BAD??? Now cough until my chest quite pain later must go get some oinment and rub leh. Good thing tuesday to thursday no paper until friday got communication skills. Guess after this I must have a good rest.

2009-09-05T23:29:00.001+08:00

Today is saturday and I went church for service before going up to church had a quick bite at mac donald then after that headed for service. Wah...Today service was super good la. started sobbing feel so good today the prayer was about bringing friends back to church ask God to show us the way to bring back those people who left church. As I was being prayed for suddenly all the names got back into my mind they are people like qiao he dilei kawpang i believe soon I will be able to bring all of them back. Was think it would be really great if the whole artclub member for year 2004 to 2007 all in HOGC then one day I believe we can have a meal together it will be great as Joey has started attending service in our church I believe soon the whole Art Club will be here in no time. After service I went to join Joey, huimin and the rest of their CG mate its a great time to catch up once in a while. So good!!!

2009-09-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

wondering where is the owner of this blog mah? haha...at home sneezing and resting at home...temperature has gone down but then now have running nose and cough. I hate this!!! This is making me loosing the mood to talk today!!! Today I am an emo girl due to the flu virus until I don't want to talk end up I dump my phone in my room and I am some where else... Today I was doing my revision in my study room while my phone was in my bed room. Guess this two weeks I will not be answering phone. Today I was doing my revision for principles of accounting and finance. Wah so many things to remember for PAF!

2009-08-31T14:49:00.001+08:00

WHY IS MY TEMPERATURE STILL SO HIGH??? WANTED TO GO QPS TODAY AS ITS TEACHERS DAY BUT TODAY I AM STILL HAVING FEVER SO HAVE TO STAY AT HOME WITH THE MASK ON...SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO HAVE THE MASK ON!!! HOPEFULLY THINGS WILL GET BETTER I MIGHT HAVE ADMIT TO HOSPITAL. :(

2009-08-30T01:40:00.002+08:00

HOGC 10th year anniversary
Today is a very special day to HOGC its our 10th anniversary. haha...by right should be 13th de cause we started since I 1996 that time still a mini church...really missed those days!!! Was chatting with sister Caroline at the artist room we were chatting about what happen in the past. I remember the that time we were still very small and i started to go church after op as doctor never give instruction that I cannot walk as a result i was in pre-school mummy was in children church my bones were too week at that time I broke my leg. Well if the doctor put some cast that i will be on wheelchair for a few months these would not have happen. During the praise&worship session all the memories came back. From born till i started attending country side house church to henderson days, from henderson days to city days and now to town...wah...gone through so many things with the church. so many photo...wonderful memories...after that yilin and I go mac have a quick bite and go up to 12 floor to put meet the rest for a while then after that go 13 floor help mummy to get prepared for the sharing of testimonies. Then after that assembled together with the pioneer as my family is one of them. Pioneer sounds so old. but feels good to be here...hehe...

2009-08-28T22:14:00.000+08:00

After taking clarinose for about a week and yet the fever and the flu that I am having did not get any better,yesterday I have decided to go to the polyclinic after school. Well...Thought the clinic is as usual at the second floor but the nurse over there say those with running nose and fever will go to the flu clinic and after 3 days which is this coming monday I have to go back to the clinic and check as they there is some virus attack currently still waiting for the bloodtest report to be out then will know. Hopefully it will not be that bad. Tomorrow is HOGC 10 years anniversary WOOHOO...Can't wait for it to come. Guess tomorrow I have to put on mask in church to play safe.

2009-08-25T19:19:00.002+08:00

Its been one week since I last post my blog. Was sick for the whole week until now still sick was down on fever and having running nose. Every day sneeze until now got no mood in doing things. Sooner will be back to a emo girl. And besides at night fever so high...so irritating so sian ah!!! ALAMAK!!! Lets talk about school. When I was on my way to lecture met Suma Christal she asked me this question how come I did not go for the paper last month told her I was on mc now taking remodule then she kept quiet. Haiya!!!

2009-08-19T15:59:00.003+08:00

Today I had PAF and CS. PAF not so much of fastration BUT CS IS LIKE...It all started with the preparation for the presentation project. As Sharon and I has finish our part and prepared for to say what we went to say for the presentation but Desmond keep changing our points until we have got no ideas of how the powerpoint slide ends up like. Does not seems easy to work with boys. What ever we add into the presentation they will not agree and keep changing what is the point of group work if such situation happen? One keep disagreeing on what has been arrange. THERE WILL NOT BE A FULLSTOP IF SUCH THINGS HAPPEN! PLEASE!!! After all the emo I headed home as I was on my way out of school I met Florenz, Kaiyun, Jennifer, Hanisha walking in going for their class. Missed them!!! Haiya. Papa went to hospital to collect the medicine but when I come home and see the medicine, the medcine given is the medicine that I am allegy to after that call the hospital to change the medicine. Haiya!!!

2009-08-18T23:55:00.001+08:00

Phew!!! Finally finish preparing the powerpoint slides for Communication skill. Today go school security guard told me that one of the lecturers saw someone picked up my phone and know that the phone is mine but did not stopped me to returned me after knowing that I headed to meet Desmond Winson and Sharon reached at 930 Well I was the first one to reach after not long Sharon came along then Wilson the last person was Desmond. Had a breakfast together with Sharon while waiting for the boys to come. After that we discussed the project and split work. went to class early to do some discussion before PAF. Headed back home. On my way out I met Jennifer at the school gate. Home was so quiet at times I don't wish to go home so early. Without mama around I will abit lonely and in the end will be very emo. This afternoon Girling when to visit mama after that she came back in the evening and she told us that mama now is on a urine bag the moment I heard that my emotion got really really down don't know how to accept it. Doctor say mama has lost her control on her bladder. Currently she is on a catheter urine bag. Haiya! I am already on CIC now she is on urine bag...Haiya!!!

2009-08-17T12:37:00.000+08:00

Got really stressed up recently I don't really have much time to blog and not even say the mood as was busy with some presentation preparation and this presentation that I am going is cosmetic the funniest thing is that my group has got only two girls and the rest are boys. Well kind of hard for boys to understand what are the cosmetics that girls use.

2009-08-14T23:52:00.000+08:00

Had PAF today and was just chatting with Jennifer when I was on my way home. Then after chatting with her I headed back home as I was on my way home I lost my handphone as the LTA people blocked my way and I went to the other way end up I lost my handphone and no one can contact me unless I contact them.

2009-08-13T23:15:00.000+08:00

Today I had got Communication skills and Nancy Wants us to group ourselves in groups of 6 wanted to join Kai Yin they all but each group maximum number of members in one group is 5 so i came out and joined Desmond's group and we even name ourselves "the unwanted" which sounds so sad maybe we should change the name. After lecture I chiong back home and wash up then started working on the research after doing some research its about dinner time and mummy has cooked dinner so eat lor. After eating dinner headed to Alexandra Hospital to visit Mama. After staying there for a while headed back home is super tired now having very bad backache. Hopefully things will get better soon!!!

2009-08-12T22:25:00.006+08:00

2:30 PM=Today I Had Principle of Accounting and Finance Kumar says that for PAF is need to do alot of practice questions then when I go back home decide to look on some resource on my MDIS Portal but to my surprise there is this folder name "UNIVERSITY OF BRAFORD - PAST YEAR EXAM PAPERS". Yay...I can start to practice and get ready for exam in a month's time.
10:25 PM=As I was doing my revision papers half way through my printer has got no ink so i went o palm in ink end up my hand got stain. Woah. Have to finish up the printing and wash the ink off. After printing mama suddenly not feeling well we were so panic after observing her condition papa decided to send her to Alexandra Hospital and check most probably will admit to hospital. So worried for her!

2009-08-12T00:16:00.003+08:00

Today something me and Kai Yin was shock as we both have got a same friend but we know this friend at a different place for me this common friend is Geraldine. What a surprise.After chatting with her I headed back home and started studying. HAHA...This might be a good start of a day but a bad ending cause I ended my day by having bodyache.

2009-08-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

Guess today is a day for me to have my self-study. Was reading up PAF. Woah so many things to read up got! Guess I better start doing the revision questions and the past year papers as i only have one month to prepare.

2009-08-10T01:24:00.005+08:00

Guess its been a few years since I last enjoyed my national day like this year. Finally can happily celebrate national day as last year was a national day that I spent in NUH due to some falls but it was not a lonely one as I have got Ms Carmen Decruz and Ms Yap as their students has a fall too and we were in the same cubicle.His bed was just opposite mine. This year I spent my national day in CHURCH!!! Its so great to be in church on national day. Was hanging around with meixin and her group in church. Really enjoyed alot in church. Just realised today I wear the wrong colour of t-shirt national day suppose to wear red t-shirt and blue jeans end up i wear brown t-shirt with blue jeans.

2009-08-08T23:30:00.001+08:00

Today is a day of fun.I had done some revision at home on PAF and after revision I go to church reached quite early so I went to the yogurt shop and eat yogurt then after that met some of the youth they also buying yogurt first time seeing them so went to join them to macdonalds they were for B zone. After eating I went up to church together with them and find C4. After that we went for service during service there was a period of time I started to like blur as I my hip started to be very pain and compressing but can tahan so did not alert anyone started changing position in seating keep changing until my pendant drop also don't know . After some time of stretching my leg it got better. Had KFC for dinner after service then after service followed the rest up to church as mummy is not ready to go. After that went to join Cassandra and her CG hang around at HOGC. Was fun to play with them had got alot of laughter. went back home at 1030 with Cassandra. Woah! Its been a long time since I last take train with her and go home. When someone on the train it seems to be like so fast and our conversation cannot finish de. Shall continue of part 4 next Saturday. After that take bus 147 go home and when reach home started playing games with mama, Meishee, gu-gu and Girling after one round I went to eat durian today the durian does not seems to be nice very tasteless. After eating went back to have some games with mama, meishee, gu-gu and Girling for another few more rounds then after that they went home and I am here blogging what happen today

2009-08-07T18:46:00.001+08:00

Today I was going to school as usual Nancy start to teach us about barriers in communication realise today her teaching is abit different from the other time this time I am able to take down more notes.WOohoo!!! Today my class its at LR-F142 well its kind of hard today as the next door were making alot of noise until Nancy have stop and go to the next door to ask them lower down the volume but we manage to finish the lecture just on time. After lecture headed back home and as I was heading back home I come across some problems and that is I am stuck two busstop away from home as there the passage way was being block end up I have to reverse back from the start and use the main road to go home its kind of hard today so use the main road which is the no choice but some how some vehicles do not want to give way they keep horning me until I cannot move the moment I don't see any vehicles I start my engine again. And I manage to make my way home!!!yay!!!

2009-08-06T21:37:00.002+08:00

Today I have got no lesson but I have got some workshop to attend at LT G102. Haha... yes sir its me again I am here to remodule this course. Made a new friend in class and her name is Jassy. Had a chat when we got dismissed from class when we were walking out to the school. Guess I will be able to get along with the rest soon!!! Yippee!!! Today our workshop was Ethics and Values the lecturer was talking about "Unlocking the Doors to SUCCESS-Business Career & Life" although this is a repeat workshop but I find this workshop quite useful to me even though alot of people after some parts left in the midst it talks about what a success is. success is positive. Through this workshop it really helped me alot.

2009-08-05T20:20:00.005+08:00

Today its by first day of remodule. Currently I am taking Communication Skills and Principles of Accounting & Finance. Today the lecturer seems to be not so fast. Just nice for me. Haha...Got one lecturer taught me before she is Ms Nancy Chin who taught me Communication skills during my first attempt. Hopefully after this two months I will be able to promote to diploma certificate course. As I was walking out, I met Adeline who was my course mate that I made friend with during my first trial for both PC certificate. Well if anyone know what I had for lunch today everyone will sure scold me de. Cause I only had a bowl of chicken porridge and it lasted me for the whole day. :P

2009-08-04T22:47:00.001+08:00

Oh mine I am so excited for tomorrow as tomorrow is my first day of school at MDIS. Hope things will go well. I will be taking PC II which will last me for a month and the modules are Fundamentals of Marketing and Principles of Business management(I). Sad thing is that now my bones still aching because of the falls yesterday which turns up to have some bruise now and now my hands can't really carry things or hold onto things will. Lose those strength. How am I going to continue? Hopefully tomorrow go school I will not have problem entering into the classroom.

2009-08-03T22:49:00.001+08:00

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

2009-08-03T17:28:00.000+08:00

Today is a fresh new week but its a terrible start of a week as the first day I kept falling down today. Within one day I fell 6 times within one day until now currently I have got bruises every where. Now cannot really move about. Have to stuck on a chair now for very long to avoid additional bruises.

2009-08-02T20:28:00.006+08:00

Today is a day of hope.Have got CG today. Well, Nelson you don't have to give me wake up call cause I am already awake.After CG headed to basement and had yoghurt. After that headed back home was very tired.

2009-08-02T00:03:00.004+08:00

Today everyone will see me in a happy mood instead of a sad one. Guess it takes time to settle my emotion on taking this benign tumor. When I reach church I started to be happy as a place when I can feel relieve and put all my sadness aside and carry on with my day. When I reach singpost I went to had a dessert and after that went up to HOGC for service. Wow today's service is super good la.Lift ourselves up and think big and bigger. Look at the bright side, positive side. The moment I heard that I started to cry. As it seems to apply to me as I need to be positive and stay strong cannot look at the worse side if not will be very depressed no point to be so depressed as it will not help. After Service went to have dinner at orchard well I ordered a herbal soup and a steam egg. The steam egg was very nice very smooth. MY Favourite! Guess my appetite went back to normal as I start to eat as much as I used to in the past after that I even had ice cream. After that we celebrated leonard's birthday. Guess now I start to see hope already and now able to look at the positive side after today's service.

2009-07-31T23:02:00.003+08:00

Today is a another day. My head is bursting now. Just now before blogging my eye was pain to the extreme that I end up hitting my eye again.The emo girl is back.

2009-07-30T18:44:00.004+08:00

6:45PM
Wow!!! Today its 30 July its been a month since I got discharge from Alexandra hospital. At times sometimes I do felt sad about the current condition. But since this has happen no point being depressed about it. Guess I can be depressed but not to the extreme now of knocking my head and hurting myself. Its kind of silly to do that as to escape from the fact guess I just have to wait and stay strong. Well today I have been doing all kinds of handicraft. Was folding rose, well after folding quite a number I start to get bored and when back to fold cubes. Guess after folding some I better start to arrange them if not my house will be in a mess. Wow today my appetite starts to get better I start to see some hope now. YIPPEE!!!

10:00PM
Mummy receive a call from granduncle and say that the results are back and it conclude that its a benign tumor can be strunk. One thing is that have to repeat MRI for the head and blood test every 6 months. But at least no need to go for operation very good. So happy about this!!!

2009-07-29T22:11:00.004+08:00

started a conversation with everyone then after that went to make some DIY stuff like heart shapes rose and stars. YAY!!!i finally remember the steps of making the DIY rose. So happy!!!well... Today I also have conversation with friends its really a great time chatting.Guess my room will be full of DIY ready made stuff like rose, stars, heart shapes and cranes. All this shall be my display!!!

2009-07-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

Today is the day of checking out from ritz carlton hotel. Before we check out i went to the jacuzzi then after that went to have breakfast. We sat together with a pakistan couple that we met and made friend with when we first checked in on saturday. Had a nice chat with them. Enjoyed everything over there alot. Guess next time if lets say want to have a break no need to go overseas as staying there can be consider over there the service is the best that after staying there we felt sad to check out as we will missed the place. But at least we get to enjoy. Thats the best.

2009-07-28T00:08:00.004+08:00

Today is the last night at Ritz Carlton. And will be checking out tomorrow. Well we went shopping at marina walk and after that we went for some seafood buffet. We went around and took lots of picture. sorry to readers as I cannot upload the photos today but will upload at least a day destiny photo and where we go during this resort stay the next time I blog so probably tomorrow. Well... Meixin called me just now before I started blogging actually today quite alot of people trying to get me but i am not alert that my phone is ringing so in the end i am like some sort of missing in action but after that I decided to return call just don't want everyone to worry. Well I had a fun time. We went Jacuzzi just now for a quite a number of time until we are like don't want to get out from the pool. But in the end we got up and headed for some shopping and dinner. This trip is really enjoyable. Felt so pampered staying in this resort. Oh mine!!! ARH!!! But I really enjoy the facilities here. Well last night I guess I was not feeling well as a result I keep flipping around in the bed keep rolling was having stomach pain started that a couple of days before the stay. Hopefully I will not get dehydrated. OH. Let me tell you what I had for dinner. Well I had crab,Prawn, sushi,oyster and for dessert I had Ice-cream and mango pudding. after all that I had a cup of caramel tea. After that we headed to secret recipe and had some lovely cakes. Shall stop here as I can't discribe without the pictures in the laptop will blog again tomorrow when I am back home.

2009-07-26T22:31:00.002+08:00

Today is the last day for AE this year. Pastor shared a extreme powerful message. Well even though its a repeat message but one powerful message it will be nice to listen again. Before service I was in church for Connect group meeting. After service I headed to Ritz Carlton. During check in to the hotel the receptionist thought that we were from overseas and asked us where we are from, when are we checking out, what time is our flight. The moment I heard that I found that its so funny. And told them I am a singaporean here for stay with my parents and my brother. The moment they heard that they were like so shock a.nd after the shockness they registered us. Well we were being served with some apple juice. HAHA...Right now I am blogging at the lobby its what a waste that I cannot upload the pictures right now here. Will upload after I checked out and got home

2009-07-25T23:12:00.003+08:00

Today I was having fishball in the morning well seems to be popo will buy my favourite fishcake then after eating i went to payalebar as my church is there well I was there pretty early I went to popular with me well we brought folders, star papers, and materials to make rose to occupy my time in the weekdays then after that brought ice kachang for dessert then after that headed to church for service. Wow today service was very powerful!!!Pastor Lia was preaching about stand. Well... at first when I heard that today's topic is stand I was like "HUH? stand?" then as her sermon goes I really touched me as I find that the sermon is some how related to my current situation. there are three point but the first point really hit me as its refering to how i am feeling and that is the feeling of giving up she said when the feeling of giving up its the hardest fight when I heard that I was like. Wow...this must be really GOD that is why pastor only share this today and not before I got the diagnose.

2009-07-24T15:15:00.004+08:00

Guess today is a day of encouragement as I have receive encouragement for ms quek and many other of my friends. Was pretty encouraged by ms quek by her not giving up attitude has made me continue as we both go through the same fear. Guess if she can overcome the fear so can I. Will not let the people around me to worry and will give them a good news. Now I have stopped the night medicine but by stopping that is a no choice one as that might course dry eyes. Well shall resume the medication after seeing doctor timothy. besides a day of encouragement it is also a day of folding origamis. hmm...seems to be like every day is a day of origamis to me.Was chatting with meixin and she has a conclusion of emo people will listen to the vioce of devil and a person who look on bright side will listen to faith. And that shall be my conclusion.

23 July 2009

2009-07-23T18:50:00.005+08:00

Today I woke up at 8 as I have to go to gleneagles hospital to go for the eye test. Test the vision. The Vision test is so scary they put a medicine drop into my eye and put another dilute water in end up I am unable to see things clearly for the whole morning until somewhere around 3plus when the medicine got dried up my vision start to get better abit but still abit blur.Dr Esther say that my vision the black patch is smaller its a good sign and say that the next time when I go back to gleneagles will have to see Dr Timothy as he has sent my mri report for year 2006 and this year's report for a comparison. Soon the results will be out when I go for the next visit. Well I am currently having a mixed feeling of Scared and excited. Getting pretty stressed up because of this recently as a result I got into some art and craft folding to distract the

fear.Below is a picture of some cubes done.

2009-07-22T22:20:00.000+08:00

Today is a bad day I guess cause since morning I have been having right eye vision problem and there is pain on my right eye with this problem I am pretty worried for tomorrow as tomorrow will need to go for eye check up hopefully it will be the last check up and everything can be settled. Got pretty stressed up recently until last night I was not able to have a good sleep and so I keep staring the ceiling until it started to rain in the mid night. then woke up at 9. Well those rubbish thoughts are up again well this time instead of focusing on those I decided to get myself occupied by making cubes as I was preparing the paper meixin called and chatted with me for quite some time. Thanks for chatting with me. Next time when the container is filled up I shall take a pic and post it. HAHAHA... I wonder what can I do tomorrow.Well my term is starting in august hopefully I will be able to join them to continue my studies with the current condition. When condition got worse its very pain end up I keep hitting trying to end but it know it did not work :'(

2009-07-21T16:25:00.000+08:00

Today its a day of art and craft as i was doing origamis folding cubes its a 3D cube again.guess this has become my hobby. Then after that I went to chat online with friends and teachers online. Well by chatting can take away my emoness for a while and I am back to emo and now blogging here and folding cubes again. Well I am forever stuck with art and craft to get myself occupied will be going to go for an other visit to gleneagles hospital on thursday. hopefully things will get better this time round. Anyway thanks to everyone who have been chatting with me to comfort me all this while through telephone, meet and online chat :D

2009-07-20T21:15:00.000+08:00

Today is a fresh new week start well I started my day. Today I start to be back on my hobbies by making art and craft things such as cubes, hearts, starts and crane. Well guess by doing all this can take away all my negative thoughts which everyone wish that its going to happen. After doing some I have filled the basket I decided to arrange them inside the box that I used to use but did not complete the container well no matter how I put I some how still cannot make it neat the container seems to be bulky after putting before I put in it seems fine. this sounds so weird. But I am going to try to arrange it in one way or another.

2009-07-20T12:09:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day for AE 09 and i decided to go for the service again. well I left home at 130 decided to go early and since I got nothing to do at home besides rotting. so instead of rotting at home I decided to leave home early and sat at the marble stone there a while until when I start to see some one familiar then go up. Well while I was rotting I heard my phone ringing its ling ling well she saw me at the opposite rotting away. After chatting with her a while I headed up to church as its almost time for me to go up and grab seats. After service I went to find C4 for dinner well I just had Ice Kachang as mummy has asked Girling to prepare Yong Tau Fu rice for dinner then after eating we went back to church to gather as today its Roy's birthday so we celebrated his birthday. Had a great time catching up with the rest.

2009-07-18T14:42:00.001+08:00

well today is saturday and I went church today we it's AE weekend. Well we talk about academic studies. Well I can't wait to go back after things are done that I am allowed to go back to school and study. Currently its like a torture to me how I wish I am still don't know whats going on. Well now its the waiting time for me to wait for the report from NNI to be out. This waiting time is hard to go don't know how far and how long i can go. Talking so much about myself time to talk about Kor. Well today Kor is down on fever after service mummy and I accompanied him to the GP at tiong baruh. Doctor say its a normal flu virus, after hearing that I got relieve that its just a normal flu. Hope he can recover soon.

2009-07-17T09:29:00.000+08:00

Well today I am rotting at home as I have got nothing to do then after that I decided to find something to do to past my time I went to make some cubes well it filled up half a halloween basket well when i finish making I am going to put them together gather them in the box. Thought of alot of things. Penny thoughts went into my mind. Its pretty torturing to live a life where by I don't know how things happen. Hope I will be able to find it some how. Later after blogging I am going to read this book called "what on earth am I here for?" Will blog about it after reading.

2009-07-16T09:04:00.000+08:00

Today is thursday 16 July 2009. Its my appointment day with doctor from KKH. Well doctor say its a less possibility to allegy as I have been taking for so long but that does not mean that it will not give an allegy so doctor decided to change a medicine of a smaller dose well my dose its like in below its dose suppose to be one morning one afternoon and one night but some how when the doctor told me last time was half morning half afternoon and one night. Hopefully it will help when I change my medicine. Oh mine cannot imagine that I have been taking a medicine that is bad for me. Well after my check up wanted to meet yuan ping for lunch but when I am done with my medicine she still not done so I told her I go first as I am only meeting her today as ling ling was not free and decided to go QSS as I missed the teachers over there. Well was telling them my feelings met Mrs Lim and Mrs Teo wanted to find Ms buganeish but she was not around. Well we chatted at the QSS centre there where is its Mrs Teo's office some how la there is no place to hang out. Share alot of my thoughts with them guess they were some how got abit shock to see my first post for this month and the emo girl instead of a cheerful one well guess today my mood was better as there is a bit smile from me when I see them. Cassandra ah why are you so shock to see me going to your school as I was walking in met Han Zhong at the gate. Well I guess I have really enjoyed myself today at QSS. Haha...Mrs teo you very funny leh. Why must it be 16/07/2019. which is 10 years time as I myself also don't know how long can things continue and last with the fear that I have right now.

2009-07-15T16:14:00.000+08:00

Have not been having a good sleep as I keep waking up every 3 hours to go toilet. Hopefully tonight I can get to sleep.Haha...the pool bear that meixin and shuyu brought me the other day the jug was missing haha end up today I found the jug inside the halloween basket which was brought by C3&C4 last year when I got admitted to NUH. Hahaha...Keep loosing sleep until now currently I am down on flu. Having a very bad flu right now. Hopefully things will get better soon. Will be going to KK Children & Women hospital tomorrow to change the medicine as I have stopped oxybutynin 5mg which will control my bladder at night now that I have stopped I could not get enough sleep due to the visit to the toilet every 3 hourly at night.

2009-07-14T11:51:00.001+08:00

I WONDER WHEN WILL THINGS GET BETTER THAT I AM ABLE TO SLEEP WELL EVERY NIGHT CURRENTLY NOW EVEN AFTER 1 AM WHEN I AM ASLEEP I STILL WILL WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT EVERY 3 HOURS TO GO TOILET AS I HAVE STOPPED THE MEDICINE OXYBUTYNIN. AND FOR THE DAY WILL BE SHORTEN THE TIME TO EVERY 1 AND A HALF HOUR. VERY TIRED OF ALL THIS. BUT GOOD THING AFTER STOPPING THE MEDICINE THE PAIN HAS LESSEN JUST THAT HAVE TO GO TOILET OFTEN IS A PROBLEM HOPEFULLY DOCTOR WILL REPLACE SOME OTHER MEDICINE TO TAKE OVER OXYBUTYNIN. WELL GOD IS REAL THAT PEOPLE WHO DO NOT BELIEVE HIM WILL FIND IT RIDICULOUS. WELL...THIS HAPPEN LAST NIGHT AS I AM STILL STRUGGLING WITH MY BLUR VISION AND MY EYE PAIN ON MY RIGHT EYE. ALL IF A SUDDEN MUMMY FEEL THAT GOD IS SPEAKING TO HER AND TELLING HER TO STOP GIVING ME THE NIGHT MEDICINE AND SEE THE OUTCOMES .AT FIRST I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS JUST MUMMY'S IMAGINATION BUT ITS REAL AFTER STOPPING THE MEDICINE MY EYE NO LONGER SO DRY AND CAN SEE THINGS CLEARLY. THESE SIDE EFFECTS EVEN STATED IN THE MEDICINE WEBSITE.

2009-07-13T16:29:00.000+08:00

My eyes got so pain that I keep hitting by eyes trying to end things off as I was very depressed. Was comforted by Mrs lim online and Meixin on the phone last night that I manage to stop. Can't bear to do so:) Hopefully things will get better. Thanks to everyone who is around me comforting me since 19 June 2009. Whenever I wanted to end thinks off people around me got into my mind thought that I cannot because of cannot accept it and just give up life like that I should fight over this battle and continue in life.Try my best to overcome every situation including the current one no matter what.