My Kawaii Bloggie

Went to TTSH today for the appointment. Basically I just spent my whole day in the hospital as I have to go through alot of assessments and several eye drops which is something I really dislike going through so many assessements seems like never ending. was waiting and waiting thought faster see leh then can go home but I guess I am wrong as there are more stuff for me to go through. Was waiting then the nurse over there super good see I wait there even ask me if i am hungry if so she went down to MR BEAN there and bought me peanut pancake& soya milk. After eating, finally not long later it was my turn but I sat there too long until I have the urgency to use the toilet. Told them that I will be back soon.Indeed I return quite soon. The test result was not quite good as I wanted it to be as the result shows that there is something wrong on my right eye. They arranged an other neuro specialist on the 10 may in the morning. Pretty scared now every day I hardly able to get enough sleep as due to fear of going for appointments as afraid of the outcomes.

Written @ 11:28 PM

Yesterday went to KKH and had a review of my current condition and doctor ask me if i have done the visual field test for my right eye i said "no" doctor then ask me when is my appt I told him 28 June then he ask me "Huh? Why so long?" I told him called the hospital and the date that you all sent me was 7june ask for earlier date they say must check and patient also need to call up the hospital and check i was like thinking "huh? Orh...ok" Date that I gave doctor was 7 june to eye clinic so they say ask try and call and ask for earlier appointment so went to called up and was given another earlier date and that would be tomorrow which suits doctor's idea of going for earliest appointment but I am not looking forward to it as fear starts to increase due to past few days experiences of blur vision which leads to falls after falls after falls currently ended myself with many injuries and bruises on my hands.

Written @ 12:07 AM

Today its my due of submission for Principal of marketing & Production Management. Me and my group of china team mates we submitted for assignment guess we were the first group that has submitted it. Teacher even joke like thing "if you all cant submit your assignment today nevermind submit it during you remodule" I was like thinking "huh? siao!! struggle so much figuring out what are the things to copy yet still cannot make it " After submitting the assignment teacher went through some of the past year exam questions and the sad thing is that I was not able to copy all the notes due to cannot cope in reading by seeing using one eye but continue to copy then afternoon I went for the other class which is the foreign class to finish copying all the necessary notes. Teacher say "ei i show to your class this slide already mah why you still copy?" I replied"yes cher you did show my class this slide but just that I was not able to copy everything on time" so teacher kept quite as he knows that things not doing quite well for me. Cause in our school every term ended students must do evaluation form for both teachers so I evaluated "PMPM-Mr Siew Very good give more time for me to copy the necessary notes that I need" but for the other module"BL-Mr D made me go crazy as he already know that I needed more time to write as due to vision problem so take more time to figure out what was shown on the board instead of saying "ok I give you more time to copy" he said " you cannot copy finish everything sure fail cause you cannot write finish everything on time" I replied " but I had the letter for extension of time" then he say "oh ok" but during the copying of notes he still show no mercy and did not give me more time to copy the things on the slide. Then after PMPM first lecture when I went for the second lecture in the midst I am like multi-tasking here busy figuring what I missed out and copy by guessing what was on the board there on the phone with TTSH for the arrangement for appointment due to the blurring of vision for the past few months. Finally have a conclusion of when the appointment was being made and that is going to be on the 7 june which is the day after I came back from some volunteering in camp. AFter so much of fun come back next day everything got spoiled. FEAR starts to increase day by day. Wondering when will it ever stop.

Written @ 10:54 PM

Struggling through with all the blurring of vision since the last time I blogged till now.. Good thing its only right eye only most of the time if not I would most probably have problem doing my work for school and not even to say blog here. Today I had Business Law lectures and today its also a day for my submission of business law assignment for one class. As agreed with the coordinator i am allowed to go for two lectures when I am not able to cope in catching up the things I missed. When I go for Principle of Marketing and Production Management teacher smiled at me and said "listening to the same thing not sian ah?"but I smiled back and kept quiet as I know I need a repeat lectures for the situation that I am in currently and kept quiet and continue writing on the parts that I missed during the first lecture at least the second lecture can catch up if go one lecture sure confirm FAIL as unable to have the full set of not written by my own during lecture. Yesterday the lecture schedule was quite strange as I had a 4 hrs break so during the 4 hrs I decided to make my way down to my Secondary School and have lunch with the teachers we sat around and chatted for quite a while then after that around 4 I left and returned to school for the other lecture. Had a fun time when I was there catching up with the teachers who have taught me and help me when I needed help during my secondary school days when I reached the school I felt so home and all the familiar food that I used to eat and the drinks that I drank during those school days. Even having the thought of going back to secondary school every other week. Even some of the sec one students also can recognise me already not to even say for the canteen vendors to remember me. Thanks guys for all the great memories!!!

Written @ 8:43 PM

As appointment with the neuro was being pushed forward to last thursday 8April where by its supposed to be on 9April but doctor was not available on that day. At first I still thought of going back to school after the two doctors' appointment but after my second appointment I didn't manage to go back school for lesson until today then I started to go back school as I was being admitted for several procedure of checks as I was found out of having pituitary adenoma. Guess I am good at not telling people whats going on for the past two months I have been having blur vision on my right eye but never tell doctors about it. After doctors found out about it immediately arrange for admission to check. At first I thought its going to be next week or something then do MRI but after that they called the ward and said that there was a bed available was trembling when I was being wheeled up from the admission centre to the ward...Could not imagine till now they still warded me to the paediatrics ward where by I am already 20...hehe...when I was being pushed up into the ward first I met one of my doctor which I have been seeing for a long long time since young. Then after that when I was on my way up to the ward I actually met a doctor that I know of during my trip to bangkok with an organisation last november who took care of each and everyone of us when we are not feeling well when we are out of singapore. Past few days when I was in the hospital thanks for coming by my bed every day to chat with me like a friend instead of a patient if I was treated as a patient I guess I would probably just hide away from you and not even to listen to you by going for the appointment with the eye doctor or go for uncountable of MRIs as inserting of contrast is painful and after the scan the contrast start to have side effects like vomitting after the scan when i am back to the ward i was unable to intake so end up have to be put on drip for glucose for 3 days and on sunday where by i am able to intake food so the drip was being took off. Talking about the MRI doctor says that there is still a tumor over at the pituitary gland there its turn up to be 1.1cm hoping for miracles to happen and that the tumor got smaller and slowly disappear at the same time to regain my full vision. Gonna see the eye specialised very soon and after that probably make a decision. Big thanks to Joey GuanZhen Shiling jiejie and meixin(Da jie) for being there for me all these while, sending words of encouragement and talking to me on the phone and MSN for the past few night. I will try to hang on there and not do silly things all the way till the end.

Written @ 11:01 PM

Started my day by returning a missed call from the hospital after calling them they said that the doctor will not be free on friday,9 of april which is this coming friday so they changed the appointment after receiving the new date I am not quite agree with it which is push forward a day and its thursday 8april.started to feel lost after receiving that call on the way back to lecture from break.

Written @ 9:13 PM